Hello old friend...

Alright, let's not pretend that blogging is something I'm good at ;) I stopped blogging because I got busy with school last semester and then we moved and the computer broke... blah, blah, blah....

So to tie up some loose ends from the last post.. (I know you don't remember it, you can scroll and cheat)

1. School? I went to school and was very excited about it, but I do what I always do and procrastinated and failed myself and gave up. It's embarassing to admit that, but it happened and I have found peace with it and moved on.

2. Bryce's job opportunities? ..have changed and changed a million times. We are optimistic about the future for now though, which is almost crazy in today's Army. (For those of you who don't know, the Army used to be safe and secure job wise, but in the past 8 or 9 months they have been downsizing and chaptering people out. AKA firing LOTS of soldiers. Scary!)

3. Taking a break from baby making stress?? We did and it was a nice break. It still hurt when that visitor came every month, but I was kind of expecting it those couple of months, so the sting was a little less. We made that decision in August and in December we decided to take it to the next level and start some serious testing to find out the problem. That is gonna get it's own post :) Obviously things went well, but I want to make sure and write it all down while I remember it.

Now are all the loose ends tied up from last post? Good.

I want to be able to blog about my journey to get pregnant and about the dificulties of my pregnancy so far. I feel like infertility is a taboo subject amongst mormons especially, and I don't really know why. Maybe because in our faith, people have children fairly fast after marriage and a lot of times close together. Maybe because of our beliefs on the family, we don't even consider that having children would be a trial for some couples. Why would something that is the most important principle in our faith be something that is so difficult to achieve? I don't know the answers. I don't know why we have these trials in our lives that make no sense. I hope to understand one day, and I will strive to look for the answers, but I am not to that point yet. I'm still in the questioning and hurt phase of that particular struggle, but I have faith that I'll know why in the future.
Part of being able to openly talk about this subject, is being blunt. Since this is my blog, I want to be able to be open about my feelings. If I say that being pregnant sucks one day and I hate every part of it, I don't want people to think I'm a bad person. This is my journal right now, if you don't like what I say, don't read it.

I have had A LOT of stress the past couple of months and just sitting here typing is therapy. I want to try and blog at least once a week, and I hope I can keep it up to help keep myself sane if nothing else.
I am doing this mostly for myself, but a part of me also hopes others will be able to relate to my experiences and feelings. :)